It's Silly Time

* * * WARNING! WARNING! Naughty bits below. Do NOT look if you are easily offended. * * *

I said NOT

Oh, well, it was your choice.

A legal question . . . 

Is  this statuetory rape?
Or is it just a moosedemeanor...

Stop laughing! This is serious.
(Received this week in an email)

Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.

Hosted by Gattina @ Writers Cramps

Created by Shakira @ You Are Never Alone

Time Wasters and Excuses Not to Write

As if I need any help to procrastinate:

Go to Google and type 'who's the cutest' then hit 'I'm feeling Lucky' button.

Go to google maps and type in Japan under A, China under B, 

then hit Get Directions and look at # 43.

Go to  http://images.google.com/ type in site:yourblogname hit enter and see what you get.

Use Google search to do math - type in:

40 times 5 plus 9 divided by 3 minus one

or

square root of 49

or

120 pounds in stone

or read 

55 Ways to Have Fun With Google

Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.

Hosted by Gattina @ Writers Cramps

Created by Shakira @ You Are Never Alone

Weekend Funnies – L of a Thing

You can’t beat reality for funny.

 Go to ‘L’ no! for the story.

New book review at Nessa's Reading Room

Infinity: Chronicles of Nick by Sherrilyn Kenyon 

Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.

Hosted by Gattina @ Writers Cramps

Created by Shakira @ You Are Never Alone

 

Weekend Funnies - There Has Been a Theft in My Fiefdom

I had to delete my joke because Thom posted it yesterday on his blog. 

So today you get nothing from me. 

Go see his post to see the joke. 

It was a good one. 

Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.

Hosted by Gattina @ Writers Cramps

Created by Shakira @ You Are Never Alone

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

I bought a new vacuum to suck up the Cody Tumbleweeds. I went to use it this morning and the beater on the carpet attachment did not work. I only used it twice for goodness sake. 


I pulled out all of the hair. I checked the hose. I banged it on the ground a couple of times (yes, this is an acceptable way to fix things.) But I got nothing. In desperation, I asked QV to look at it (yes, this, too, is an acceptable way to fix things.)


He asked for the manual. (Like I have any clue where I put it.) He listened to me whine about how I loved this new vacuum and it was already broke and it was the hairy dog’s fault.


He unscrewed the screws in the attachment and took it apart. The belt was not broken. Nothing jammed in the tube. I explained about the pedals resetting the beater motor. He put it back together and watched as I plugged it back into the wand. 


Nothing. I almost cried. Especially after QV pointed out that the on/off switch on the wand was in the off position. When he laughed at me, I beat him with the beater attachment. Blonds have good aim.

The new writing assignments are posted at Pupa to Monarch.

Write in joy. Write in pain. Write On! (c) vvk

Weekend Funnies – Martha or Maxine?

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks..

Celery? Never heard of it!

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine??????? HELLO!!!!!!

Lastly, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.

Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.

Hosted by Gattina @ Writers Cramps

Created by Shakira @ You Are Never Alone

 

Weekend Funnies - More Scientific Truth

The very first "senior moment."

~ click image to make biggerer ~

And that's what happened to the dinosaurs! 

 Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.

 Hosted by Gattina @ Writers Cramps

Created by Shakira @ You Are Never Alone