Road Trip

The day started in a bar, as they often did back in the early 80’s. Donna’s boyfriend was on the road heading in our direction. I didn’t have a special someone. Our plan was to kill a few hours with alcohol in Pete’s Pub where Donna grew up at her daddy’s elbow. Pete’s son, Pete Junior, practiced making Kamikazes. Donna and I critiqued seven pitchers of the limey goodness between draft beers for her and gin and tonics for me by the time we determined PJ had mastered his technique. Being unofficial employees (taste tester is a real job) we drank for free in payment for services rendered.

Donna missed her boyfriend. He called to let her know he wouldn’t be able to get into town. His truck broke down at the truck stop in Elkton, Maryland. She was sad. She didn’t get to see him often. He drove a truck up and down and across the country. He lived in Arkansas. He was a married man. She was very sad. I was drunk enough to feel her pain acutely. I, too, was lonely.

Donna didn’t drive but I had a big, beautiful 1968 Dodge Coronet in silvery blue with a white rag-top. I still loved driving back then because I was fearless and didn’t care if I got a speeding ticket. My beautiful car kept me out of any real trouble. One look at that baby, and the cops fell in love and wanted to know how I was lucky enough to have her.

One winter, I tried to plow it through a snow bank on the newly finished Route 55 near Glassboro. The engine objected greatly when the pile of snow turned out to be a small mountain of frozen dirt. Cars, no matter how beautiful and special, will not put up with that shit.
But that was later. This evening, I needed to help my friend

“Let’s go to him,” I said.

“Yes.”

We found our drunken way to my car. I don’t remember much of the three hour drive to Maryland except we made an error in judgement and almost ended up in DC. But the lure of love is strong, even when it’s not your love. We found Donna’s boyfriend. They went off to his truck and left me in the club. I didn’t mind too much. I found a partner to dance with through the night.

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Poor Drunk

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Don’t ever let me do that again. I did not have enough fun drinking to make up for the crappy sleep I had. I tossed and turned and woke up repeatedly. I got up at two am so thirsty. I had to drink a huge glass of cold milk. Then I could sleep a little better but it still wasn’t good. I don’t have a hangover which is good because I’m going to be cranky enough as it is over my lack of sleep. I hate when my sleep is not good.

I think too much alcohol makes all of my joints ache more than usual. My right shoulder, right wrist, left elbow, right hip and left knee are all throbbing this morning. I’ll move on from this. I don’t like to dwell on my physical pains.

These were some of the items in my dreams last night: Blue man pinhead ultimate lover, The Codes, superstore, overpacked car, trunk that won’t close, hiding, running, moving, camper, spies, gangsters, cafeteria, overcrowded beach, parking lot, shopping, escape, hunted. I had to write them down in a list so I wouldn’t forget them.

Here’s how they go together:

I was searching for my perfect lover who looked like a Blue Man Group version of Zip the Pinhead. No matter who I met, I would ignore them because they did not fit my version of who I was looking for. While not paying attention to the world around me, people started hunting me.Bounty hunters, spies, gangsters were all trying to find me. I had something in my over packed PACER but I didn’t know what it was. My traveling companion (I think my other self) was trying to convince me to hide but I wouldn’t listen. We went to a crowded shopping center and I double parked my car in a fenced in lot, leaving my purse under the bumper because it was heavy and no one would steal it. A bounty hunter looking for me staked out my car. I went shopping in the superstore, The Codes got out of the car and came in the store. A working said dogs were not allowed. “We have to have some rules.” I said, “I’m almost done and look how well behaved he is and no one here minds so leave us alone.” And he went away. Then I was followed around by a stalker while I bought celery and ketchup and white couches. I took my purchases out, shoved them in the car and the trunk/back hatch wouldn’t close and was holding me up from leaving. Finally, it closed. I shoved the dog in around the cardboard boxes and clothes in my car and we went to a crowded cafeteria which turned into a crowded beach. I was so busy trying to escape the crowds to get to the water that I never saw the blue pin head lover that entered the area behind me.

I wish I had the time to go back to school to study physics but that would be a distraction right now because I do want to write.

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How to Cure a Hangover

With the holidays upon us, many of us will be tempted to drink too much, especially with family stresses caused by excessively high expectations and New Year’s Eve almost here. I’d like to suggest some ways to prevent hangovers that can make the days more difficult and put a damper on your cheer.

Good Tip: If you have overindulged, drink three or four glasses of water before going to sleep. The worst feelings of a hangover are due to dehydration.

Better Tip: Drink in moderation, rotating each alcoholic drink with a glass of water or other non-alcoholic drink. Be sure to eat while drinking to slow your body’s absorption of the alcohol and to help it metabolize at a reasonable rate. Add seltzer to a glass of wine to make what Europeans call a Spritzer.

Best Tip: If you don’t drink alcohol, it’s impossible to get a hangover. Instead, drink seltzer with a slice of lemon or tonic with a wedge of lime.

Watching drunks while you are sober is very entertaining and eye-opening. 

Tarot at Esoteric Uncovered

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