brain food

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I’m going to be studying marketing. Specifically, I’m going to be learning about digital marketing and analytics. I’m changing course at work. I won’t be needed in the traditional financial functions so I am swerving into getting our brand out there and bringing in more business. I’m good with getting new information into my brain. I love learning new things.

I’ve signed up for two courses from the online college course hub, Cousera. They offer free classes from some big universities. They are non-credit earning classes but the information you get is good. If you want to pay a nominal fee, like eighty dollars, you can get a certificate, but I won’t need those. The classes I’m taking are Marketing in a Digital World and Digital Analytics for Marketing Professionals: Marketing Analytics in Theory. Both are in the Digital Marketing Specialization and are from the  University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign with Aric Rindfleisch and Kevin Hartman respectively.

What’s going to be really great is that I can do the courses while at work. My boss is excited that I’ve taken the ball on this and decided to learn what we need without anyone asking and that it won’t cost anything except my time, so when I told him, he insisted I do it on company time. I like my boss.

I signed up for the classes last night. They are “at your own pace” rather than with set starting dates and weekly goal dates. They are four weeks long with an estimated six to eight hours of course and study time needed each week. While looking for the word “deadline” (required looking online for due date related words and then going to do some dishes before my tired brain regurgitated the word I wanted - this shit pisses me off no end), I found a website that outlines the project management tasks and timelines, so I guess everything has a good side. I’ve totally lost track of where I am in this tale. Oh, yeah, no deadlines. That makes life a little easier although deadlines are handy if you are procrastinator like I am, so we’ll see how it goes. I’ve not take a self-directed class yet.

It’s good I can do this while at work because I’m exhausted. I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I’ve been getting up each day this week at four so I can get everything done that I need to get done. My To Do list is huge. I’ve put it all on stickies and I’m going to use a Science Project Display Board as my planning board. I’ve done loads of things this week and have a pile of completed stickies. I put the start date in the top right hand corner, write in the task and then put write “done” when I’m done along with the date I’ve finished. My little pile of done tasks feels good since I haven’t done much of anything for about a year. I was feeling quite out of control. It was so bad that I couldn’t even manage to write lists, something that I normally do all of the time. I can go through a steno pad a month when I’m in my right mind.

It’s seven. Time to go walk.

r u artsy fartsy ~ wanna b ?

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I think everyone is artist - read creative. There are many ways to express your creativity and one is not better than another, just different. People draw,paint, write, crochet and knit, write code, make videos and take pictures, build furniture, put together parties, cook. All of these activities can be creative and artistic. When you think outside of the box, intentionally and attentively produce something you are being artistic.

I’ve decided to plan a project each month to produce something creative that is intentional and a little off beat. I’ll develop some random guidelines to follow as a road map along the way. Right now, I’m not doing anything. One project a month will get me 12 different pieces of art a year without too much stress. Creating things with your hands is a great stress reducer. It takes you out of your self, out of your comfort zone, and into a place where you can contact the real you, that essence that lives on. This is a way to add your thoughts to the collective conscientiousness. Check out Carl Jung ~ it’s a thing.

I realize I’m getting started late and there’s only 23 days left (3 weeks if that makes you feel better) and I’m booked for a week in the woods during that time period, but this project should be easy.

Feel free to join me each month. Then in the first week of the following month, we can post pictures of what we created. I’ll do a post of my finished item. Then, you can do links to your sites (blogs, websites, facebook page, Instagram, wherever you may live) in the comments or email me a picture and I’ll post it here.

The idea is to let go and have fun. Color outside the lines, paint the sky green or add peppers to ice cream (all of these things are things, they really are.)

Here is the breakdown for July’s project. These are just things to get your ideas flowing. Follow them exactly or go completely off grid. Either way I’m good and so are you.

Technique: Collage ~ from the French and it means “to glue.”

Theme: Nature

Subject: Summer

Guidelines: Include at least two media or different types of materials and glue.

My project: I will be using wire screening, tree bark and beer cans along with paper and glue. It will be called Anti-Crypsis.

Other ideas:

    *** mount photographs you’ve taken on a piece of driftwood

    *** produce a video of paper dolls you made performing a skit

    *** cut words and images from magazines and glue them to a cereal box

    *** draw different mini pictures and glue them into bottle caps

    *** make birds and butterflies out of grocery bags to hang on a mobile

    *** make a finger painting highlighted with gemstones

    *** take an old umbrella and decorate it with beach toys

    *** use the matchbooks, brochures and beer bottle labels you’ve collected from trips on an old pair of swim trunks

    *** make a terrarium with things you collected at the beach

    *** take a picture of an action figure with an origami chicken

Got enough ideas?

Ready. Set. Begin.

i have a plan to plan a plan

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I don’t wanna. I don’t feel like it. Leave me alone. I want to go back to bed. I hate this. Why have I set this task for myself? I have nothing to say. This is not working. Can I write the same word 500 times? Time is running out. I’ve decided I will walk every morning before work starting today. I’ll walk on the weekends, too. I need to move my ass and if I do it in the morning, I might get it done. I used to walk every morning and I felt better and was a good weight. I’m running out of morning. There’s only a certain amount of time that can be considered first thing in the morning.I hate doing stuff. There’s too much stuff to do.

I have two projects I need to get done very soon. There’s the collage I want to make from tree bark and beer cans. And there’s the olde English tavern sign I want to do for our backyard bar and basement bar. Yes, we have two bars. I am also planning a painting done with my fingers while blindfolded. I’m also painting my desk which I need to continue and the walls and ceilings of my office slash studio. The crab apple wood I’ve been drying for several years are ready for my runes as are the branches I have drying for wands. I’ve been thinking of doing a more traditional landscape painting for my living room of a view of the Delaware River which includes a bench and a Weeping Willow. The view is from down the street from where we live. I’ve got to sew some posable rabbits that I’ll dress in costumes and use for Rabbit, Rabbits each month. I’ve got Purdie Pyrate cartoons planned for each month, too. I’ve got ideas for ornaments, cuffs, dolls and  eggs which will cover the seasons. Oh, and there’s the doodles I want to do.

I am in the process of getting all of these ideas on sticky notes so I can make a planning board. I feel like I got ten years left in which to get all of this shit done. It’s all making my elbows itch. Do your elbows itch when you get agitated? Is that weird?

I feel like I’m leaving some projects out. Well, I have mentioned the novels I’m working on. I’ve got to get them edited for publication and send them out in the world. And there’s essays that I want to write.

The only way to do all these things is to make a physical plan because I can’t keep focused with it all in my brain. Making a planning board is the first step in bringing it all into the real world.

Step One: Individual Idea stickies including initiation dates

Step Two: Setup board in my office

Step Three: Sort projects by types (?) and place on board.

Step Four: Organize by priority

Step Five: Work on one project at a time (ha) until complete which involves breaking them down into small pieces

the sins of our fathers

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The cold seeped into Cyn’s body. The stone floor she lay on was a poor bed. She woke exhausted. Each morning required that she get up and move around to warm up her body and chase away the aches from the night. Once she was awake and moving, her groans only heard by the mice running off from their nightly foraging in the kitchen, she set more wood on the embers burning low in the kitchen’s hearth. She swung the large cast iron pot over the flames to heat water for the morning ablutions of those above floors. They’d remain abed for hours yet.

Peeking out through the shutters, Cyn watched the chicken in the moon drenched yard peck for worms. Tossing them corn would be her second task of the day. She’d pluck warm eggs from their nests for human breakfast while they ate their own breakfast. Cyn often wondered if the chickens knew their eggs were gone when they came back into their coop. Wondered if they mourned their missing offspring. She never ate eggs. Not because of this wondering, though, but because she wasn’t allowed.

She ate creamy, runny soft eggs as a child. Things were different now. What she once took for granted as hers belonged to someone else. She had a new understanding for those who had washed her nappies, darned her stockings and prepared her bread and honey. Her stomach grumbled. She had at least an hour to go before she’d get some thin gruel.

Removing warm eggs from her apron and placing them in the cook’s favorite wooden bowl, Cyn thought about running away again. She didn’t know where to go, though. She had never been anywhere except her father’s holdings. He had told her stories of far off fantastic places when he came home from his excursions. He swore he’d always come back for her but he wasn’t ever coming back. He was dead and she didn’t know what was true anymore.

The family lands were heavily mortgaged and she had no living relatives. The property was sold along with her freedom. She went from pampered pet to destitute drudge in a single breath. She took a deep breath. Dwelling on what she didn’t have wasn’t helping her.

The next three hours went by quickly. She lit the bedroom fires, filled water pitchers, gulped down bland porridge, milked a cow and plucked herbs from the garden. The sun was up as were all of the servants. And she was off to perform her favorite summertime task.

She grabbed her basket and went in search of berries and mushrooms. This time spent in the woods was her saving grace. She suspected that the cook gave her this task because Cook felt sorry for her. She still remembered Cyn as the precocious mistress everyone doted on. While some of the servants took pleasure in Cyn’s downfall, Cook went out of her way to ease some of Cyn’s hardships when she could. Cyn headed for her favorite spot in the woods.

hope is a four letter word

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All I can say is that I keep coming back. I don’t give up easily. Not sure why. I do believe there is a solution to every problem, you just have to keep trying. The constant struggle is tiring but I don’t know how to give it up. I wouldn’t make a good Taoist. I can’t even envision what the opposite of struggle would be.

It might involve staying in bed all day. I do like sleeping because my dreams are so vivid and entertaining. I learned how to direct my dreams many moons ago so I can often go on scripted adventures to places I’m interested in with people who enjoy the same things I do.

I once went to an alpine cave, high above the tree line. There was a roaring fire, overstuffed armchairs and spiked hot chocolate. I was joined by quiet companions. We sat around reading together. At night, we went out on the mountain and touched the stars.

Loneliness and being alone are rarely problems for me. I have no problems entertaining myself. And I do need lots of alone time to recharge. There’s too much noise everywhere. I took at test once on reading facial microexpressions and scored quite high. You’d think that would be a good thing but I think what happens is I can’t reconcile what I see in people’s faces and the words the speak. The dissonance is too disconcerting. It takes way too much energy to negotiate the social arena. And god forbid I try to do it when I’m tired. That’s a major disaster.

I can go great periods of time alone and happily so. There’s always something to do, something to think about. It’s usually curiosity that gets me up and moving. I’m very nosy. I need to see what other people are doing. People watching is fun. I like sitting in a back corner and checking out interactions, listening to conversations. Just call me Peeping Tom.

Today’s topic was hope. I don’t think I have come anywhere near helping someone have hope. I’m pretty sure this whole post is very depressing. I do keep hoping that by some action of mine I’ll create some beautiful fantasy land where everything is perfect. Of course, that would require that I had any idea what a perfect world would look like. And I don’t.

There wouldn’t be any bugs. Just thinking about bugs make my skin itchy. I like Winter and most people like Summer. I like the changing seasons. I wouldn’t have to do dishes, or laundry or cook dinner. I wouldn’t get bored.  People would tell me interesting and fascinating stories to keep me entertained with lots of jokes. I like jokes. I could drink citrusy frozen margaritas all day from morning to night and take naps in between. There’d be no time or schedules or To Do lists although I really like lists. Practical things would magically get done. I couldn’t have people waiting on me or working for me because I’d feel bad that they weren’t having any fun. See how hard this perfection thing is?