Friday, December 16, 2016

some days



Some days, I stand in my kitchen balling my eyes out because the garbage can I just cleaned and sanitized to white perfection has tomato sauce all over the lid.

Some days, my To Do list is so long I want to jab my pen in my head and scramble my brain to mush.

Some days, I lie in bed at night marking, by coughs and groans, the slow death of two men.

Some days, I wonder if I no longer do anything will anyone love me.

Some days, I wonder if I can ever do enough to be loved.

Some days, I forget how to breath.

Some days, the air moves like a dance, twinkling lights draw me into vast galaxies, cinnamon, cloves, rosemary and lemons awaken my dna, a mournful, lyrical chord tightens my chest and my mouth yearns for a kiss.

Some days, I can’t even.

Some days, it’s all too much.

4 comments:

  1. I can relate so much to this. My damn to do list is insurmountable and I'm in love with a ghost.
    I once had a therapist say that this ain't the Disneyland planet. I agreed that he was correct, but said that next time that's where we needed to go.
    You can come too. We need something good and lots of it.

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  2. This is one of the most painfully honest pieces I've read in a very long time. I'm sorry, for what it's worth. You will be loved. Are. It's just hard to recognize it in the eyes of the needy.

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  3. I'm glad to see somebody still blogging from the old days. Sometimes I miss those times... (VE)

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  4. I'm sorry. And although I generally don't say so, somedays it really does feel like too much.

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