Saturday, May 14, 2016
Alone. I never do anything alone. John and I do everything together. Except this, apparently. I blame it on the excessive caffeine. It made me hyper and compulsive. I wasn't thinking. John does all of my thinking. And talking. I can type what I want to say but when it comes to vocalizing, I need John.
I need John and he had deserted me. Left me alone in our rooms. Left me alone to my own devices and the coffee maker.
The caffeine in my system propelled me to this cafe and this seat facing the door. I'm looking for a redhead with a big blue flower on her t-shirt. Now, the caffeine is out of my system. I only had enough money for one cup of java at this joint and because of the previously consumed beverages, I arrived three hours early. All of my rocket fuel burned up during my time spent waiting and jiggling my foot under the table. I was too spent to get up and leave. I crashed.
My head lay on the table, my right cheek pressed to the cool surface, my hands dangling between my knees. I kept my eyes closed. I couldn’t bear the stares from the normal people sitting at the other tables. They murmured and I just knew they were talking about me. John would say I thought too much of myself and laugh, but John wasn’t here.
The bell over the door jingled. I glanced up through my lashes. John walked in with a redhead wearing a t-shirt sporting a big blue flower. They were holding hands. She was giggling and looking up at John like he was candy. John pointed at me. She looked my way and smiled, showing all of her perfect white teeth. John patted her on the ass. She glided in my direction while John went to the counter to place an order.
I sat up.
They both sat across from me.
"You didn't close your browser. I thought you might need my loquacious talents with Natalie." John held Natalie's hand on top of the table.
The waitress brought a hot chocolate with whipped cream and a cherry for Natalie, a small, tiny cup of deep dark espresso for John and a glass of milk for me. She placed a round white plate of donut holes in the center of our table.
Natalie popped a cinnamon covered confection into her mouth and closed her eyes as she chewed. Little diamonds of sugar crystals dusted her lips and sparked with sunlight. I stared her lips, then at John and Natalie's entwined fingers. A sharp stabbing pain blossomed in my right eye. My breathing became erratic and shallow. My jaw hurt as my molars rubbed against each other.
Natalie placed her free hand on my upper thigh under the table.
John winked at me.