Friday, June 14, 2013

dVerse ~ Poets Pub: Rondelet

~ click image to make biggerer ~


Here are a couple I wrote. The first is more traditional.


awash

waves crash and burn
along the coast of heart’s thin walls
waves crash and burn
so much to learn
from sorrow, ache, more danger calls
to bring us out of closed off halls
waves crash and burn


ere

she heard an air
of perpetual emotion
she heard an heir
so bold and fair
express his inner devotion
but couldn’t abide the notion
she heard an err

46 comments:

  1. ha. i like your play in the refrain on the second one....hmm i might have to give that a try...i like the refrain in the first...the thought of waves burning is a cool contrast...oy and i wish that was not how we had to learn you know...smiles.

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  2. You've certainly played with the form - with great success. I enjoyed both of these :-)

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  3. Waves crash and burn! Wonderful! I saw waves crash over pouring Lava, then burn with light awesome sight evokef by your magic words. You are a true poet, V


    Aloha

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  4. so cool how you altered the refrain in the second one... love it.

    the first two lines of the first one are amazing... so beautiful

    (and i don't really know why i commented in reverse... heh.)

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  5. That beautiful flowers with petals ... delicate, precious picture!

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  6. Like the rhythm and sentiment of the first, the fun of the second. Good job.

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    Replies
    1. I definitely had fun with the concept of the second one.

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  7. Good work on both ~ I like the refrain of waves crash and burn ~ In the second one, I think its cool you experimented with the form ~

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  8. Waves crash and burn--wonderful. The images that phrase conjures! I like the second also for its playfulness, and that fact that I keep thinking of another "e(y)re"--Jane.
    Well done!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, I like your other eyre. Jane's a favorite.

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  9. Two? Showing off are we? Love them both, especially the first one.

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  10. That first one reminds me of the narrow passage between Charybdis and Scylla--there are many dangers on the journey to true love. And all I could think of for the second was: bag-of-wind! Excellent work, loved them both.

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  11. These are both very good. The second one is extremely clever...with the 'err' and 'heir.'

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  12. Ah, what does an heir know anyway? It's no mistake. Really.

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  13. ..wonderful experimental vibe Vanessa... both refreshed my mind with your chuck full rondelets... smiles...

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    Replies
    1. Trying something new and different is refreshing.

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  14. Beautiful picture, and I really resonate with the first poem.

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    Replies
    1. The first was inspired by a line I remembered from Andrew Greeley in one of his books. "Life is hard."

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  15. I loved your play with the homophones in the second.

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  16. along the coast of heart's thin walls...this is wonderful...yeah...the waves can crash hard sometimes but make us stronger in the process...

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  17. ...super on both poems...really like the refrain "waves crash and burn"..I can take that a couple ways and it still works.

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    Replies
    1. A lot of people like that line. It sort of feels right.

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  18. Waves crash and burn -- burnt themselves into my consciousness. I shall remember that rodelet - lovely!

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    Replies
    1. The burn is unexpected but somehow rings true.

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  19. Vanessa, I love the experimentation with the form; finding the ways to say what we wish to express. These are wonderful representations of Rondelet.

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    Replies
    1. It was hard finding rhymes that worked and still made some sense.

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  20. love this in the first one - along the coast of heart’s thin walls..
    and love the play on words in the second..
    i wanted to try that play as well.. but could not when i tried..:)

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  21. Oh wow your rondelets totally blow mine out of the water haha, absolutely gorgeous!

    The new prompt is up btw =)

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  22. I like the repetition of first one. Thanks for your comment on my horsetails!

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