Friday, May 24, 2013

and the green grass grew all around



if you could fly
fly high above the trees and 
you could look down
you would see the canopy 
of leaves in hunter emerald 
and lime
hiding the pretty little bird 
sitting a speckled egg 
in a nest
on a branch 
connected to the trunk 
that goes to the roots 
where i buried your body

* * *

i wrote this last night as i was falling asleep
i didn't get up to write it in my notebook
i wanted to see if i would remember it
it's based on a children's song
that my 82 year old father
has been singing to his
offspring unto the 3rd generation
my father is having difficulty remembering
but he is still able to pass this on





35 comments:

  1. Now that's what I call an ending. Nice one.

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    1. I've always thought bodies were under the roots of trees.

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  2. Vanessa Kilmer...
    Remind me to TRY and stay on your good side.
    (You DO have a good side?)
    Loved your Cold-Blooded 55
    Thanks for playing, thanks for besmirching my feminine side, and please have a Kick Ass Week-End....
    (The G stands for Gooey)

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    1. Gotta love a man who can handle the woman in himself. :)

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  3. oh my...what a close on this...wonder if they are looking down on that...or looking up from the roots eh? smiles...heh...nice nessa.

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    1. Like astral projection and watching yourself.

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  4. I love the slap at the end--a perfect last line, and so many fairy tales and old rhymes do that--mingle the picturesque and pretty with the completely grim. You definitely captured the feel of an old song or nursery rhyme. Enjoyed it much.

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    1. Got to have mean and nasties in the children's stories.

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  5. From lots of color to an image of the darkest dark...great surprise ending.

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  6. You lulled me into thinking this was going to be some sweet, treehugger piece until that last line - SMACK upside the head! That's so great!

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  7. Oh - this was neat. Totally unexpected! Love that this is still being shared and that he still remembers it.

    Loved this 55, Vanessa!

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  8. I love the contrast, starting out with all that beauty and then the sneaky end. I guess if he cant fly, he didn't make it as an angel.

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  9. Such a pretty little spring/summer poem until we get to the end. Nice.

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  10. I do like a poem that clicks shut -- and this one double-locked. Splendid!

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  11. I've been thinking about my own mortality lately. On one hand, I'm not afraid of dying. I've had far too much of depression and in many ways I'd welcome death. On the other hand, I'm having trouble with the loss that comes with becoming "the older generation." My mother's recent operation has forced me to confront this, and I'm not enjoying it.

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    1. I'm not afraid of dying, either. I am afraid of certain ways of dying but that's different.

      Both of my parents are having memory problems. That's scaring me.

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  12. Oh that's funny - I read it as sweet, the idea of a loved one buried near a beautiful old tree. Then I read the comments!

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    1. It could go either way, with a nudge here and there.

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    2. I'm thinking of using it as a jump off for several flash fiction stories. Start with one basic idea and write it 4 or 5 different ways.

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  13. I am so impressed that you remembered it the way you did! Makes it all the more special (and it really is a special 55)!

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    1. I couldn't believe I remembered it myself.

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  14. Twisted. Very nice. I'm glad I decided to check back on the 55's I missed :)

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  15. It has a dreamy feel .. I like it... Well done

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    1. I picture myself laying in the grass and looking up.

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