I wake up exhausted every morning because I have the most vivid, exciting, fantastic dreams. I’ve been like this since forever. I love them and I can’t wait to get back to bed each night so I can have me some more, but I would like to get some rest on occasion. Here are thirteen things I’ve tried to calm my dream life. None of them have worked.
Prayers – I pray all of the time and I’m not shy about asking for things I want. Apparently, God derives as much enjoyment from my dream-life as I do. I even get angels joining in.
Guided dreaming – Before you go to sleep, you tell yourself what you are or are not going to dream about. This has worked for some nightmares, but overall it’s not a success.
Dream catcher – You know, the American Indian thing Jacob gave Bella – it didn’t work for me either, but they are pretty.
Bowl of salt water – A Rabbi told me about this over 25 years ago. I last used it 25 years ago.
Sleeping pills – Only if I want monsters with teeth as long as swords. I imagine this must be like what it feels like to drop acid.
Exercise – This tires my body out but doesn’t calm my mind.
Diet – This affects the kind of dreams I might have but hasn’t blocked any.
Journaling – I get everything out in my journal every day and still they come.
Mediation – This calms me and clears my mind so I can some new kind of dreams.
Dream interpretation – Been there, done that and Freud can do something special with his cigar.
White noise – Those wonderful machines that play ocean sounds make me dream of the beach.
New Age remedies – Let’s see – there’s crystals, herbs, incense, candles, spells, pyramids, past life regressions, tarot, etc., etc. Fun stuff. No workie.
Therapy – Some shrink actually told me once that my problem is I like dreaming too much. Quack.