Saturday, September 11, 2010

Weekend Funnies – Martha or Maxine?

0 - martha
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
0 - maxine
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
0 - martha
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
0 - maxine
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
0 - martha
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
0 - maxine
Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
0 - martha
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'
0 - maxine
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'
0 - martha
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks..
0 - maxine
Celery? Never heard of it!
0 - martha
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
0 - maxine
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.
0 - martha
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
0 - maxine
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
0 - martha
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
0 - maxine
Leftover wine??????? HELLO!!!!!!
0 - maxine 2


Lastly, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.
0 - green butterfly
Play Weekend Funnies and help spread the laughter.
 
0 - v

23 comments:

  1. Maxine all the way. LOL This is too funny :) I added a site pal to my site :) LOL Too funny. I should have put it up for weekend funnies :)

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  2. hehe. love this...maxine rocks it all the way

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  3. Maxine, definitely. Even if Martha has some good idea there is no happiness to be had in her approach. Leftover wine? How can that even happen?

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  4. Maxine, definitely. Even if Martha has some good idea there is no happiness to be had in her approach. Leftover wine? How can that even happen?

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  5. This was as fun as it was educational.;))
    xo

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  6. Thom: I love Maxine. She’s very wise. I have to find this site pal of which you speak. I know not what it is.

    Brian Miller: Maxine does rock – back and forth in her chair.

    secret agent woman: Leftover wine does not happen in the real world in which we live.

    Zuzana: You can learn so much useful information from Maxine. Lots of life lessons.

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  7. I'm a little bit afraid of Martha Stewart, but I'd be glad to share a glass of wine and a piece of pie with Maxine.
    I loved this.

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  8. Oh Nessa, thanks for showing this! I've seen it before, but it's been a long time, and gosh...who could ever tire of it?! :)

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  9. I think an unscrewed belly button could be very useful...

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  10. My butt will fall off? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I've been trying to get rid of it for years.

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  11. Hilarious. I'm something in between leaning more towards Maxine.

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  12. Particularly like the ending. Another like: No comments moving up to the post.

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  13. I'm far more a Maxine than a Martha. Unfortunately I'm also far more an Oscar than a Felix. If you saw my house, it would be obvious.

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  14. I am seriously hoping that threat is accurate. I would so love my butt to fall off!

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  15. So funny. I had a good laugh at this.Thanks for sharing.

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  16. Jeanie: Some of Martha’s things are very pretty but she creates unrealistic expectations.

    BECKY: I’ve seen it several times, too, but truth never goes out of fashion.

    Jinksy: I never thought of that – use instead of liposuction.

    Alice Audrey: If only it were possible.

    colleen: Maxine is way more comfortable.

    Doug: I live to bring you joy. :)

    Blooming Psycho: Yeah, you and me both.

    quilly: If we culd invent something like that we’d be millionaires. Oh, yeah, that’s plastic surgery.

    Eden: I am glad you enjoyed.

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  17. This was magnificent. (And I might even use a few of those tips from Martha to help her self-esteem.) :)

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  18. Cherie: Martha's life is a lesson in not giving up.

    Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades.: Maxine tells it like it is.

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  19. I've just read through a good lot of your blog and I can't stop laughing, your delightful, soo funny and a real pleasure to visit :o)

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  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  21. Deborah: Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed.

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