Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Sensational Haiku - Stress

  ~ click image to make biggerer ~

mosquitoes touch down
stagnant water bends inward
breaking the surface
0greenbutterfly2
The tight skin holding in his life burst. The tense membrane over his existence ripped like the placenta at his birth. 

He tried to follow the rules but never to the required perfection. The drugs and alcohol never numbed him enough to get him through the days. The inadequacies of his life haunted him awake and asleep. He had lived like the shadows on the screen of an old television set. 

Remembering the tranquility of a previous death, he went wanting nothing more than peace.



0 - green butterfly Write a haiku based on the week’s theme.
“The basics: Haiku is simple! 
It is 3 non-rhyming lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively 
(a great way to use your fingers!)”

youknowthatblog-haiku2

 
0v2

22 comments:

  1. That was a bit mOre than a hiaku... but I guess when one has a story to tell, a haiku may nOt be enough words... That first paragraph is amazing...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very nice! But I don't wanna make that picture biggerer. Itch itch itch...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love the haiku. The second bit was chilling.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm interesting and eerie at the same time. Great haiku. I'm belting back a woo woo on this one. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. shadows on the screen of an old tc set...nice. i agree this has a creepy darkness to it...i like it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the sense of a person you can create with such few words.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your haiku was brilliant. I am jealous now.

    Your story was a bit chilling and lots of sad. Very well written, though.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was quiet serious. Almost sad, or melancholic...
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love the flow of words in this post. Kind of sad, but touching. Have a wonderful day, Nessa :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I sit here staring at the screen with mouth agape. I so know that story. This was an amazing bit of writing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great haiku! And wonderful writing. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  13. very clever take on stress and the writing after was awesome! Go Nessa!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Like your Wed Haibu, Nessa. Who'd a' thought about a misquito on the scummy water? Just Nessa.

    Mine is about my pony, here,
    Jim's Little Photo and Poem Place.
    ..

    ReplyDelete
  15. I ran right from one piece to the next and ended up with a suicidal mosquito.

    ReplyDelete
  16. powerful and haunting stuff (enjoyed it)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow!



    BTW- just that picture caused me stress!

    ReplyDelete
  18. nessa, a mosquito as a subject is something that only a highly creative mind like yours can think of. and you came up with quite a brilliant piece, nessa!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Excellent, excellent, excellent! How talented you are, Nessa!

    ReplyDelete
  20. That touched my heart in ways I have a hard time thinking about. Wow. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love your way with words! And clicking on the image to make it larger was fun because, hey, that's the BIGGEST mosquito I've ever seen!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you ... Leave a link, if you like, so people can find you easily.

I will delete spam comments.