As predicted, I am posting this late. Remember, this is just for fun. I will be taking some time off (a week or two.) I need to have a long stern chat with my self. We seem to be out of sync and I'm not putting up with any shenanigans. (I have multiple personalities, too.)
In honor of Valentine’s Day, February 14th, this month’s astrological predictions will be about LOVE, sort of.
Aquarius January 21 to February 19 - One would think that the water bearer would have an abundance of love overflowing and pouring onto those nearest and dearest, but unfortunately, all you Aquarians are keeping your emotional juices stoppered in your amphora’s this month. Pop a cork, already.
Pisces February 20 to March 20 - You Piscesians are always chasing the tail in front of your face. Stop swimming in circles. The whirl pools you create in your life will only suck you into the abyss where you will be eaten by sea monsters. Is that what you want?
Aries March 21 to April 20 - Telling people what they want to hear may get you through the moment but in the long run will cause confusion. You'd be better off staying quiet until you know how you really feel. Oh, and farting is not a love song.
Taurus April 21 to May 21 - Snorting and bellowing will not get you any love this month. While forcing yourself on others may seem to work, it's not really passion but stalking. If you are looking for a jailhouse romance, follow a steady course.
Gemini May 22 to June 21 - While no romance with a partner could possibly compare to the love you have for yourself, it does make it easier when dancing at parties. Get a partner, even if it is only to make you look more normal.
Cancer June 22 to July 22 - Not everyone wants to stay home all of the time with only one person to look at day and night. At the very least, going out in public will give you a reason to get out of you PJ's and your partner will feel less like a prisoner of love.
Leo July 23 to August 23 - We all know you are the royalty of the zodiac, but even kings and queens must stay in touch with reality if they do not wish to be assassinated in their sleep or poisoned at the dinner table. Telling your partner how wonderful he/she is will not mean you are less so.
Virgo August 24 to September 23 - Your partner should be your friend, but you should occasionally treat him or her as more than a friend. Either stop treating your friends like lovers or stop treating your lover as your friends. There should be some difference between the two.
Libra September 24 to October 23 - It is easy to understand why you can't make up your mind. There are just so many wonderful and interesting people in the world from which to choose. Just keep an eye on the expiration dates of your favorite little friends.
Scorpio October 24 to November 22 - Being alone is easier than wondering if you can trust your partner, but you are too quick to think everyone an enemy. Once you've let loose, it can't be taken back. Control your stinger.
Sagittarius November 23 to December 23 - Prancing around in a cupid costume will only embarrass your partner. Those smiles you see on other people's faces are really grimaces. Sometimes the funny is only in your head.
Capricorn December 24 to January 20 - Quit hiding the person you love from the rest of the world. Either bring your romance out into the open or end it. You won't find a partner that is perfect for everyone you know, so pick one that you can stomach for more than 5 minutes together.