Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Weird

The past week or so, I have had that weird out-of-body, out-of-mind feeling. I am my physical self, slogging through everyday life like pulling myself through a muddy swamp and then there’s me, watching, listening but not quite there. If you are old enough perhaps you remember the shadows on TV – that has been me. I have been caught several times, staring into space. The looks I’ve gotten are priceless, as I usually reserve my complete disconnect for when I’m alone, but my will power has been lacking. I just didn’t feel like being my usual excessively focused self. I’m straddling various realities, but I feel a major change coming (I hope it’s not schizophrenia) and it’s very strong so instead of hiding from it, I’m waiting and looking and listening. And I am writing my little heart out for NaNoWriMo, which takes precedence this month.

I have read everyone’s comments, which I love and for which I thank you. I will respond during those brief times when my selves are merged, but I make no guarentees.

18 comments:

  1. What is really weird is that not only do we feel the same way as you describe, but we've seen many other blogs that express similar feelings. Maybe it's the Fall season creating these emotions in us. Good luck on your writing and congratulations on last year.

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  2. Overload. Mental generators have shut down to prevent an irreversible mental meltdown. Do what you can when you can.

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  3. I know that feeling. In fact, I just shook it yesterday. It seemed to wash over me a bit today as well. Ah well - look at the upside at least there's a space to stare into?

    Don't work yourself too hard!

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  4. Echo: I said there was a storm brewing. Mine has blown up in my face. I braced for it. Three feet from my body.

    I wrote a thousand words of utter crap and gave up.

    That still silent space inside refuses to yield for the moment. But the lady came to visit and she was ruthless and she told me things I didn't want to hear. So I need to take long walks and be by myself for a while...

    and write.

    Ness. It's time.

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  5. I've been in the same space. I for one have no expectations of you. Write on, sister.

    Oh, and thank you thank you thank you for the lovely scarf! I got it in the mail on Monday!

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  6. Wonder if that would be a defence for committing a crime?You weren't 'there'.

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  7. guess we all go through times like this.we wish we had our life and every thing lined up.and all at once we zone just wondering what the heck is going on.
    its at those times I go to my best friend with what I cant figure out.he helps me to get grounded.and soon I can once again see the forest for the trees.his name is Jesus..
    life can be very hard some times.
    and trying to figure it out even harder.
    I loved all the pictures.God bless and have a reat day.

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  8. leann gave the best advise and I can't offer anything more . Big hug enclosed!!!

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  9. When you say 'Shadows,' did ya be meaning Dark Shadows? Cuz that could makee ya feel very weird indeed.

    STOMP.

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  10. Hope you are feeling more energized and lighter soon. I know the feeling - my Monday was so unbearable I couldn't even face it until 3 days later! Hope your pretty butterfly wings are waving again soon.

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  11. At least you didn't start talking to yourself out loud. ;) It's easy get lost in your thoughts, staring into space (or that poor person who is in that space).

    Take care. Keep on Writing. Good luck.

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  12. Hi Hon Bun! Just came by to say hello. Big Mwahs!

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  13. Well I won't say "pull yourself together" though I am tempted. Instead I hope that you work your way through all those mixed feelings.

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  14. sometimes to just let go, might get you were you ought to be...safe travels, and check in once in a while:)

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  15. As long as you're not watching yourself roaming the neighborhood with an axe, I think you're ok.

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  16. This too shall pass. Good luck on your novel!

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  17. Hoping you are feeling much better!This is a perfect sunny day to walk through the leaves, most therapeutic big hug enclosed.

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  18. Well, Nessie----you're a bit past the prime age for a first break. But I guess it could happen.

    Just get a couple good delusional stories together, march in to your local employment office and start your disability claim. You'd be crazy not to.

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