Friday, September 07, 2007

Thursday’s Thoughtless Thinking

When I walk, I see feathers lying all over the ground, but no dead birds. Do you think bald birds live in my neighborhood?

Astronauts, astronaut stalkers (astronauts who stalk) and old bikers have it made. They get to wear adult diapers and pee whenever they want. Can you imagine the shear joy of just letting go at the supermarket?

When I empty the dishwasher I want to drop the plates. When I go to put a jug of milk back in the refrigerator, I want to let it fall to the floor. Do you ever feel like doing that?

I found a dollar bill on the ground when I took my morning walk. Does this mean “The Secret” really works?

No matter what kind of bra I wear or how I adjust the straps, the left side always slips off of my shoulder. Does this make me a hunchback?

People who hold conversations on their cell phones in stores are rude and no one says anything to them. Could I get away with holding my hand up to my ear and talking to myself loudly?

I think we should change our court system. If you commit a crime, you are guilty, regardless of who you are or the circumstances. Only the sentencing should involve mitigation. If you admit to killing someone, how can you be not guilty?

I know it is not Thursday, but I like all of those “th’s” in the title. Have you got a problem with that?

20 comments:

  1. Interesting Ness...you feeling a little hostile today?

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  2. Jenn: Mayyyyybeeeee. Yes, DAMNIT! Don't you wish you could be like a three year old and throw temper tantrums?

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  3. Thank you for inspiring me. Next time I'm with enough big people so that I don't have to worry about getting beat up, and someone is rudely talking on his cell phone, I'm going to cup my hand to my ear and hold a load imaginary conversation and the real cell phone user is who I'm going to be talking about. Fabulous!

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  4. ROTFLMAO --- uhm ... this wasn't supposed to be funny, was it?

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  5. I have finally found which blog is the right one! YAY! I have the urge to drop the milk and smash the dishes most times, but I quickly realize I am the one who would then have to clean the mess and move on damage free.

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  6. If you're a hunchback, I must be one, too (although it's always my right strap.)

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  7. That was a fun post. I can say this: Talking loudly to yourself on the bus pays huge dividends.

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  8. I like to talk loudly to myself without my hand over my ear.
    My hair is long enough people can't tell if Im wearing a bluetooth
    :D
    Keep 'em guessing

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  9. BB: I always wanted to be a Muse.

    Quilly: Well, of course.

    Kanrei: You inspired me to make things a little clearer around here. I’m the cleaner upper, too, so I rarely go with these impulses.

    Madam Wilde: Yeah, baby.

    Tudor Rose: Hi there. We balance out the world.

    Doug: Thanks. Does it keep people out of the seats around you?

    Logo: Excellent idea. We could get away with lots.

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  10. Hey, I've got no problem with that whatsoever. But may I recommend paper plates for when those impulses strike?

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  11. sometimes i like to juggle eggs, despite the fact i can't juggle.

    i loved this Non-thursday Thursday post. i'd call to tell you in "person", but i have a cramp in my hand (i've thought the exact thing about those folks and their blasted phones...) ; )

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  12. You wanna piece 'a me???

    You need a punching bag.

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  13. G: Excellent advice.

    Neva: I wish some people (loud people within my range of hearing) would get cramps in their mouths; D

    The Phoenix: Are you offering?

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  14. Old bikers???? Egads, I don't want THAT to look forward to... gross!!! Not on my bike honey.

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  15. TS: I know, it's horrible. Every time I see the commercial for adult diapers with the old bikers, I cringe.

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  16. Oh, my God, I really was laughing out loud. Especially at that second paragraph. I have absolutely NO problem with your Thursday post for Friday - I LOVE it! You are such a riot.

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  17. Princess Jackie: I am glad you thought I was funny and not just strange; D

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  18. LOL. I wonder if I would get away with that cellphone thing? I am severely hard-of-hearing...just pretending to talk into a cellphone and then I have to make the bag boy repeat "Paper or Plastic, Ma'am?" because I didn't hear him? That'll be a hoot!!

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  19. Shari: Hi. That would be great. See how many people you can get to repeat the same thing over and over again. It would be your own private comedy show.

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