Friday, June 15, 2007

Friday News Flash

The results of a new study released today by the U.S. of A.’s Department of Wildlife says that there is a definite link between Communism and an epidemic of walking fish on the eastern seaboard.

“Fish are coming out of the ocean in droves,” says an unidentified official, who wishes to remain unidentified. “They walk right up onto the beach and confer in small groups briefly before heading into town.”

The unidentified official, John Burke, says that card carrying Communists and their sympathizers living in coastal towns along the Atlantic Ocean are telepathically calling the fish and inviting them to walk right into their homes, join in the meetings and become fellow comrades.

“We are on a definite recruiting campaign,” said one Communist who does not wish to be named because he believes people will think he’s a kook. “We do not discriminate against anyone. We are a brotherhood. We even have a marsupial who has been a member for two years now.”

While this reporter was interviewing for this report, several fish, perhaps they were Stripers or Sunnies, I’m not sure, walked right passed me, as plain as can be.

They neighbors seem to be taking things in stride.

“We don’t care what they do,” says one homeowner, “as long as they don’t leave the fish standing on the porch too long. The stench can be unbearable. And it has nothing to do with them being Communists.”

19 comments:

  1. I don't know. This story sounds a bit fishy to me.

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  2. I don't know...I think I smell a rat. Something's getting ripe for sure.

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  3. As the saying goes...fish and visiting family have something in common...after about 3 days, they both begin to stink...now, add to that Communist?

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  4. Nessa, did you skip your pills today?

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  5. Perhaps we have a new acting role for David Duchovny?

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  6. Quilly: What are you trying to say?

    TLP: Such doubters.

    Grunty: Yes, he spoke of this in Quatrain 1982,
    “And there would come upon the earth
    an abundance of rare fish
    man could no longer claim a dearth
    there’d be more than we could wish.”

    Swampy: Oh, the inhumanity.

    Jackie: Maybe I took a few extra.

    Mal: Do you think they may have been Herring?

    Egan: I can see him in the part.

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  7. Nessa, something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

    Underneath the humour there seems to be a deep and meaningful message - but damned if I can fathom it - you're way too deep for me, young Miss.

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  8. that´s only the first step, wait until the walrusses unite and the unicorns start to fly !

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  9. The Pigeon Falls Liar's Club has decided to award you the weirdness of the year award.

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  10. Is this an allegory? Or maybe an alligator?

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  11. Jenn: That’s because the fish come from the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench, but that’s not near Denmark. You’re not suggesting Hamlet was a Communist, are you?

    Minka: Oh, if unicorns fly we’ll need some pretty strong umbrellas.

    Bazza: I didn’t know there were so many Commie fish.

    Dr. J: While I accept any accolade gladly and with great humility, I can’t believe you are suggesting that this news report is not true.

    Diesel: I’ve heard of alligators, but they don’t live in the ocean. Do allegories live in the ocean?

    Tina: That’s because of the stench.

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  12. I wonder if these walking fish carry signs. Actually I guess they carry cards - card carrying communists like to hide under the beds, so be careful - they are hiding from the Hinder Underwater Activities Committee.

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  13. Purple: Oh, no, not something else hiding under my bed. How will I ever get any sleep?

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