1. Don’t show up to an interview dressed in the clothes you wore to muck out the barn. Big rubber boots covered in horse poop will not get you a job in an office.
2. Don’t show up in a mini skirt with thigh high stockings and five inch heels, unless of course you are looking to work in a Gentlemen’s Club.
3. Don’t show up in sandals, jeans with holes at the knees and split below your butt cheeks and with a t-shirt that advertises you are free and easy. I think I figured it out.
4. Don’t show up in the same clothes you wore last night. Try taking a shower and combing your hair. Oh, and make sure your shirt is right side out.
5. Don’t tell me your boyfriend continues to stalk you from state to state and threatens you with a gun. Don’t add that you continue to speak to him each night on the phone because he loves you so much.
6. Don’t list for me all of the medications you are taking. While I can be sympathetic on occasion, it’s best not to tell me how you thought about killing your baby, yourself or strangers on the street.
7. Don’t tell me you handle stressful situations by having a drink, having a cigarette, having God take care of it or having a fit.
8. Don’t tell me you got fired from your last job because they didn’t understand you have a weak bladder and need to go to the bathroom every half hour.
9. Don’t tell me you need a job for the health insurance because you are pregnant again and you hope they will let you keep this one.
10. Don’t tell me how you have met all of your spouses online and that you need next Tuesday off to finalize your current divorce.