Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Top Ten Interview Don'ts

1. Don’t show up to an interview dressed in the clothes you wore to muck out the barn. Big rubber boots covered in horse poop will not get you a job in an office.

2. Don’t show up in a mini skirt with thigh high stockings and five inch heels, unless of course you are looking to work in a Gentlemen’s Club.

3. Don’t show up in sandals, jeans with holes at the knees and split below your butt cheeks and with a t-shirt that advertises you are free and easy. I think I figured it out.

4. Don’t show up in the same clothes you wore last night. Try taking a shower and combing your hair. Oh, and make sure your shirt is right side out.

5. Don’t tell me your boyfriend continues to stalk you from state to state and threatens you with a gun. Don’t add that you continue to speak to him each night on the phone because he loves you so much.

6. Don’t list for me all of the medications you are taking. While I can be sympathetic on occasion, it’s best not to tell me how you thought about killing your baby, yourself or strangers on the street.

7. Don’t tell me you handle stressful situations by having a drink, having a cigarette, having God take care of it or having a fit.

8. Don’t tell me you got fired from your last job because they didn’t understand you have a weak bladder and need to go to the bathroom every half hour.

9. Don’t tell me you need a job for the health insurance because you are pregnant again and you hope they will let you keep this one.

10. Don’t tell me how you have met all of your spouses online and that you need next Tuesday off to finalize your current divorce.

20 comments:

  1. I have an interview this afternoon, and lemme just say you really saved my ass. I've now decided to leave the g-string-revealing mini-skirt in the laundry hamper and the t-shirt that reads 'I am, therefore I fuck' will be worn under another shirt.

    Thanks, Nessa. You're a lifesaver!

    ReplyDelete
  2. damn

    i was wondering why i didnt get any call-backs...

    11: dont have bright blue-turquoise hair.

    dammt ><

    (i'll post a pic on my blog for ya hun ;) )

    ReplyDelete
  3. but those are my favorite lucky boots Nessa!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. What's sad is I have seen people come to inteviews in the mini skirt they wore to the club the night before and the hairspray dandruff and the stamp on the hand. KLASSY

    ReplyDelete
  5. well thats me not getting a job at your place!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Drat! Now why didn't I see this yesterday before my interview?? Well, at least I left my muddy boots in the hallway. Still, I think my socks stunk a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  7. As frustrating as it is for you having to deal with these people... let me just say it is extremely entertaining for us! Sometimes, I wish I had a job where I interviewed people like this, just so I could laugh and laugh and laugh. I know it's not really laughable if you're the one dealing with it, though.

    FUNNY!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey ! My barn mucking outfit is pretty classy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What about boat mucking boots? Had a pair of those for a couple summers. Might be good to interview in those if you want a job on a tug, ya know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nessa!
    Dude, you are totally bringing me down.
    I tell you the annoyance is RADIATING off you and you've never looked better :p
    So very funny

    ReplyDelete
  11. They're all true aren't they Nessa, I just know you're speaking with feeling. You have my sympathy. The worst thing about interviewing for me was asking the same questions over and over and then getting the same non response over and over.

    ReplyDelete
  12. bang on nessa
    i tell my friends- when they r going for a job interview- don't tell them u need help finding a place, u need alternate afternoons off to do your 'own work'- nobody wants to hire a new set of problems

    ReplyDelete
  13. Did I tell you I met all my exes in Texas? .. Online even! giggling! not!

    Hope you are having a fabulous Sunday!

    ReplyDelete
  14. People keep asking me why I didn't go to Hawaii with OC, so I have another one for you: You do not take your girlfriend with you on a job interview. Especially if your prospective employer is footing the bill for the trip.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good Lord. It astounds me what some people need to be told.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Piercings? Tats? Firearms? Any guidelines for those?

    (Funny post, GN.)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy Giant Killer Bunny Rabbit Day!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Advice to live by...doesn't it just baffle you how inept job applicants can be? Crazy!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you ... Leave a link, if you like, so people can find you easily.

I will delete spam comments.