Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Honesty

I believe the most important trait in another human being is honesty; real honesty between two people. Blunt, truthful, sincere and helpful honesty, so I know where the other person is coming from. I don’t want polite, politically correct comments. I want the truth.

Sure a sense of humor is important. I love to laugh. I like it when people tell me jokes. I bore easily, so entertainment is a big thing with me, but you can’t build a life on it. Well, you can if you live in the amusement park called Hollywood, but most of us don’t.

Romance, manners and politeness are good. They make life seem pretty and rosy and comfy-cozy. But they often cover up realities that help us negotiate through the obstacles that everyone encounters. Life sucks and someone should tell you before it’s too late. Being polite to Ted Bundy got a lot of women killed.

Both my husband and my daughter treat me with honesty and I return the favor. When my husband drinks too much and doesn’t get done the things he had planned because he had a hangover, I don’t say, “Oh, honey, you were sick.” I say, “Maybe next time you’ll know better.” When my daughter complains that she’s driving a beat up old mini van and all of her friends have cool cars, I don’t say you poor deprived child, I say, “Get a job and you can have one, too.” When I’m being a bitch and whining and throwing mini hissy fits, my husband tells me to quit acting like an ass and get over myself. I say, “Fuck off.” And we all feel better.

7 comments:

  1. Every time I'm honest with my friends I lose another one. But hell, if you don't want to hear that you're fat, stupid or ugly, then change.

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  2. Exactly.

    This is why my list of friends is a very short one. I keep believing people want a genuine relationship. Stupid me.

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  3. You are so right.
    Honesty is best...
    I have to admit that I'm probably one of the worst sometimes because I tell people what they want to hear instead of what they NEED to hear.
    I'll probably take this into more thought now.

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  4. i can be butally blunt sometimes - i have the tendency to think in stight lines; i dont always think of teh impact to others i have. sometimes this earns me praise, sometimes, not
    when asked a question im often honest, although im rarely honest to myself.

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  5. Sherry - don't ever change because of something I've said. I don't really know what I'm talking about. I have to be like Thumper (If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.} Most people are not interested in honesty and just because I KNOW I'm always right, it doesn't mean I really am.

    CECCG - I think I'm pretty honest with myself, but I'm probablly delusional.

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  6. Honesty. Hmmm. People (me included) don't like to hear the truth. We shrivel up and die. So I spend a lot of time keeping quiet. Scratch that. I flare up like a hell cat.

    "No I don't agree!"

    "Get your head out of your ass, then maybe we can discuss this."

    Why fit in? Then we would actually have to talk to a whole lot of wankers. Honestly, who has time for that?

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  7. Jenn: I love the word "wankers."

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